online crack
by fritzer
Summary: Someone thinks Sora is a sexy beast. sora.surprise total and complete crack. you are warned. by request of AznN3rd.
1. Chapter 1

Online Crack

Oneshot

AznN3rd made me do it. I SWEAR! Please don't kill me many hardcore Sora fangirls!

**WARNING (S): Sora/Tron-iness. Enough said.**

**-X-X-**

Sora downloaded himself into the big computer in Hollow- I mean, Radiant Garden. For some odd reason Donald and Goofy were not with him. Where were they, one may ask? Probably out hitting on Yuna, Rikku, and Paine fairies because everyone knows that they're closet perverts.

"Hiya, Tron!" Sora greeted in all his bad electric outfit glory.

"Hey, Sora!" Sora was immediately suffocated in a bone-crushing hug.

"Ow…can't…breathe…" Sora choked out, his face beginning to turn blue. Even to the super happy Sora, Tron's obsessive hugging disorder (OHD) was very very disturbing.

"I've been learning a lot about humans since you left through the internet!" Tron exclaimed as he released Sora and allowed him to breathe again.

"Oh…cool?"

"Yeah! It was really interesting! I learned about lots of really weird things too like yaoi, yuri, hentai…"

Tron went on and on and Sora was wondering what yaoi was.

For the purposes of this fanfic (sense it's really starting to suck), Tron suddenly decided that Sora was a dead sexy anorexic BEAST and decided to say so. So he did.

"Sora!"

"…Yeah?"

"You're a dead sexy beast!"

…

"What?"

Tron then did many bad things that only a scary hentai person would ever do (ahg! Tron's a psycho pervert!)

Poor Sora will never be the same again.

-X-X-

"Wait! I can change!" Donald squawked.

Fairy Rikku and Paine made disgusted noises and fluttered away. "Come on Yuna!"

"Goofy, you are such a pervert!" Yuna cried before following.

"A-hyuuuuuk!" Goofy cried in anguish, but because everybody thought he sounded like a drunk guy speaking gibberish nobody really understood what he was saying. Which was probably why Yuna thought he said something perverted.

Donald sighed and decided to go to get Sora so they could go...somewhere else.

"Sora?"

Said boy who had appeared out of nowhere twitched and muttered something about "violated rights" "sexy" and "illegal usage of squirrels".

Donald didn't ask.

-X-X-

Don't ask. Just…don't.


	2. Chapter 2

Peach and Pink

Here is your Christmas one-shot AznN3rd.

* * *

Sephiroth liked to stand on the edge of that one cliff and brood about the woes of humanity. On that particular day he was wondering about the way his black clothes so clearly represented the dark, never-ending abyss of his soul when a something appeared.

…A very strange something.

Poke. "Hiya! My name is Rikku. What's your name?"

One of those three annoying sprite-things poked the side of his head. He ignored her and thought about shoving his katana through Cloud's gut.

…

Ohhhh, blood.

"Oh my God, your hair is soooo shiny!" Rikku gushed. "What kind of super conditioner do you use? Huh huh?"

Sephiroth thought back to those nice anger management cassettes he used to listen to. Take a deep breath and count to ten and no, stabbing flying blonde sprites is BAD.

"Why aren't you answering me?" Rikku seemed oblivious to Sephiroth's murderous thoughts. "Are you mute? That's awesome! Sora never said you were mute!"

Sora?

-FLASHBACK-

"Oh my God, Sephy, we should totally be the bestest of bestestest friends…est!"

-END FLASHBACK-

"Wow, you sure do twitch a lot!"

1…

2…

3…

4…

"You know what? You're awesomely hot! We should totally get married and have awesomely hot mute babies and-"

FIVE!!!

SIX!!!

SEVEN!!!

"Did you know purple is the awesomest color ever you should totally dye your hair orange and…"

Screw the anger management tapes! He was stabbing her!!!

Before Rikku could blink an infinitely long katana was shoved straight through her sprite-sized abdomen.

"…uhg…"

"TRON'S A RAPIST! TRON'S A RAPIST! TRON'S A-" Sora stopped midway through his insane screams and stared. "Oh my God. Sephiroth-"

"It's not what it-"

"SEPHIROTH PROPOSED TO RIKKU! SEPHIROTH PROPOSED TO RIKKU!" Sora promptly ran off to tell all of Radiant Garden the "good" news.

Sephiroth blinked despite his totally badass persona and thought 'What the fu-'

Rikku began to drag herself closer to him THROUGH the sword, her eyes glowing an eerie red with the brightness of a blinding spotlight. "Our wedding should totally be pink and peach and-"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

(end)

* * *

happy christmas! 


End file.
